Some Memories That Make Me *Feel*

This list is inspired by a New Amsterdam episode that I watched recently - a cancer patient was dying and started to make a video for his parents to watch once he passed. He started to list off memories about them and it made me think. How often do we bring up memories that we have with our loved ones that really affected us? Why do we usually wait to do this once someone is sick or has passed? Here’s a very small list of my memories I wanted to be brought to light:

1. When my grandma got a knock on her door.

I can’t remember the exact time that you told me this story, but every time I think about this… I feel your pain in my heart. January 2013 - you got a knock on your apartment door in the middle of the night. I can see you blinking your eyes, putting your glasses on and quietly yelling “I’m coming.” Slowly walking down the stairs, one at a time. Trying to look through the peephole on your toes, but you’re too short to get a good look. “Ma’am, you need to go to the hospital, there’s been an accident.” I can feel your heart sinking into your chest and see your body collapsing. I can see you racing around trying to get to your phone to find someone to call. When I think about this night and how you shared it with me, I remember how calm you were when you told me… but I could feel the pain. This memory reminds me of how insanely strong, resilient, and powerful our love us. We have been through so much together in the 28 years that you have raised me and that moment could have been when I was taken from you. But you knew that I wasn’t going to be taken out like that - I was going to keep fighting because I had learned from the best...you. Grandma, this memory will always be the one that helps me feel our love. That, I treated you like shit when I was a teenager but you forgave me, love. That, unconditional only parents can have for their children, love. 

2. Alpha Omicron Pi.

I remember walking into recruitment not knowing what I had just signed up for. Multiple days of talking to a bunch of girls and having the same conversations over and over again. We received our bid day cards, went into a room, met a bunch of people, and just like that, the day was over. Little did I know, that day, I would have been introduced to an organization that would change the course of my life. Joining a sorority wasn’t something that I had ever dreamed of doing, but I’m so glad that I did. Over the next 3 years, I would experience some of the most fun, crazy, stressful and exciting times of my college career. I would meet my best friends. I would meet my soul sister. My memory of Alpha Omicron Pi will always and forever consist of meeting my tribe. The day Lindsey wrote “thug life” on my knuckles, making outfits for mixers, finding my “big” & “little” sister, being a new member educator, getting kicked out of recruitment, performing ritual, the Loving Cup, tailgating @ Duck Pond, 228 Parkwood (if you know, you know). Thank you to all of my Sigma Gamma ladies that I built friendships with. You’ll always be in my memory. 

3. Mr. Bo.

I'll never forget the moment I was at CycleBar and realized, "I love this so much because I feel close to Mr. Bo."  He loved to ride *real* bikes. If you were to read the dictionary definition of a father figure, an amazing human being, and humble- you would come up with the description of Mr. Bo. I remember him being there for me. I remember him making me get into the driver's seat of the car and telling me to drive around the parking lot saying that I can do it. He believed in me when I didn't think that I could it. He pushed me to be the best that I could be. "This reminded me of you - Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you. Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you." I will never delete this email that he sent me in 2013. I have it screenshotted, saved, forwarded. Even if it was for a limited time, he made me feel like a true daughter. I will always hold a special place in my heart for him. 

4. Rooftop bar in Madrid.

Oh man, the epic European vacation of 2016. London, Paris & Madrid. In London we paired up with a beautiful couple on their honeymoon and traveled Europe with them. Once we found a rooftop bar in Madrid, my fear of elevators couldn't even keep us away. We went their multiple times just so that we could feel the larger-than-life feeling of freedom that it gave us. Sangria pitchers, tapas, sunshine, the view of the entire city of Madrid. I will never remember the name of it (ask Lindsey) but I will always remember the feeling that we had. On top of the world. 

So I know this is a strange collection of memories, but thanks for reading them. I hope you felt something, because I sure do. 

xx,

Linsey