What I Learned Being a Guardian for 8 months

Well, here’s me being extremely open and honest. 

1. Teenagers suck.
   I know that every generation says this, but kids are different these days. I mean the disrespect, the discount of authority, the laziness… just all of it… it’s insane! I would like to think that my friends and I had some sort of respect for people or at least acted like we did. Nowadays, teens have this complex that they are entitled to things without working for them. Being held accountable will completely turn them against you and they won’t know how to handle it. Hearing how they spoke to each other was disgusting. I thought that maybe it was just him, but then I heard from other people that their teens were the same way. I also witnessed it being a substitute teacher for a couple of months. Kids these days are just out of control. I’m sure there’s plenty of great ones out there, so if your teen is an angel please just ignore this point. 
   
   

2. It really takes a village.
   We would not have been able to do this without all of the support that we had. My grandma, my inlaws, my friends. Getting clothes, activities, weekends away, picking up and/or dropping off from things. Together we were able to make it happen and I will forever be grateful to them for everything that they sacrificed for us. Even after he left, my workplace stepped up for me. I am surrounded by people who care and I thank my lucky stars every day for the people I have in my life.
   
   
   

3. Don’t isolate yourself.
   I would leave my house, go on a drive, and just cry. I had trouble getting used to the lack of privacy and sharing my space with another person (that I hadn’t been living with already for 3 years). I felt like every time I would call a friend, I was just complaining or crying, so I eventually stopped calling people on my drives. I did this a lot for the first couple months but then I started to get used to having more company and eventually loved having someone else there. I started to embrace it all and wanted to spend even more time with him. 

4. Talk to your partner.
   We did this in the beginning and then we fell off, which is too easy to do. I don’t know how many people I’ve talked to that have explained that having kids creates a strained environment for couples. During big moments and towards the end we were able to communicate and be on the same page, but a lot of things got fuzzy inbetween. There were definitely things that I bottled up and there were things that he stuffed down. This was a great lesson for us and has helped us strengthen our communication skills. They’re better now than they have ever been!
   
   
   

5. Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can.
   I told myself this everyday, even if I didn’t believe it. I hoped that I wasn’t screwing him. I know in the back of my head that I did everything I could but teenagers are hard, man. Do you give them more freedom? Do you take it away? How many mistakes do you let them make on their own? It’s just nuts. Everyday is a new set of challenges and you have to confront them with a “I’m a badass who can conquer whatever is placed in front of me” attitude. To all the parents/guardians/caregivers out there: YOU’RE DOING GREAT. YOU’RE KICKING ASS!

I’ll never forget this statement that I heard, “parents are going to mess up their kids no matter what, it’s just the level that you do it at.” I just hope that I had minimal contribution to fucking him up. *fingers crossed*

xx,

Linsey