Living by The Four Agreements

This beautiful book was created by Don Miguel Ruiz. The following list is based on my interpretation of this book and how I practice my view of the 4 agreements. 

1. Be impeccable with your word. 

            Words have so much power. This agreement is very similar to the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Speak to others how you would want them to speak to you. How you communicate with others is HUGE. Watch your tone, your demeanor and your body language. But most of all, watch the words that are coming out of your mouth. Remember that you never know who is listening and you never know how they are going to interpret your message. Being impeccable with your word means to speak truth, speak in a respectful manner, and speak with intention. Practicing this agreement is a daily exercise. Here are some examples of how to integrate it into your daily life:

·      Wait 5-10 seconds to respond to others so that you aren't throwing gibberish together.

·      You can also have some immediate responses handy to show that you are actively listening. 

·      Choose your words very carefully. 

·      Be honest, genuine, and real when you are talking to people. 

2. Don't take anything personally. 

            Haha - guess what? Not. Everything. Is. About. You! Isn't that something? We live in a time where people always feel offended by something. The truth is, what people say and do... doesn't have anything to with you - it's because of them. The moment that you stop thinking that you are somehow connected to people's actions, you feel free. Well I felt free. I noticed that I stopped harping on every little detail of things that other people would do. "Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds." Here's some examples that will help you work on this:  

·      When someone calls you a name or makes a judgement about you - laugh. 

·      Dance while everyone is watching you. 

·      Raise your hand and ask questions. 

·      Stop being selfish. 

3. Don't make assumptions. 

            The classic case of when you assume, you make and ass out of u + me. It's natural to assume things but unfortunately that doesn't mean it's always the truth. "We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing. Because we are afraid to ask for clarification, we make assumptions; then we defend our assumptions and try to make someone else wrong. It is always better to ask questions than to make an assumption, because assumptions set us up for suffering." One of the biggest challenges that we face is that once we make an assumption and have convinced ourselves that it is the truth, we can't back down. Our pride and our ego can't take that kind of hit. That's why it's best not to assume anything and to make sure that you have factual information or are asking clarifying questions. Here's some things you can do to help put this into practice:

·      Instead of thinking that your significant other "knows" something, make sure that you have communicated it with them.

·      Give clear and concise directions for people - common sense isn't too common these days.

·      Ask what words mean. Ask what a phrase means. Ask. You don't know what you don't know.

·      When a person doesn't respond to your text message - hit them with the "just checking in" text. This will let you know if they are actually ignoring you or if they truly forgot to text back. 

4. Always do your best. 

            This is my favorite agreement. Always do your best. I'm not a religious person, but I can say that I remember a bible verse, Matthew 5:16. "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." I interpret this statement as, "be the best person that you can be, do the best that you can do, and make sure that you're making yourself and those around you proud." Always do your best, even if you feel like giving up - that's when you really need to dig down deep and show yourself that you can do it. Here's some tips & tricks: 

·      Wake up and think of 3 things that you're grateful for.

·      Make your bed in the morning.

·      Create a consistent morning routine that includes the above. 

·      Ask for help when you need it. 

xx,

Linsey