The Body Image One
“I’m owning the parts of me that I so badly wanted to ignore and hide, I’ve dismantled the shame I’ve held for years, and began building self acceptance for myself in its place.” - Lenea Sims
So here I am, almost 30 years old & still have to work everyday at loving my body. My relationship with my figure has been a roller coaster ride my entire life. Growing up I was always called “fat” or “chubby.” I did the fad diets, restricting what I ate, and worked out multiple times a day. It has taken me a very long time to accept that my body isn’t meant to be small, cellulite free or perfectly bronzed. I am thankful that I’ve started having the realization in the last couple of years that my body is a vessel that’s gotten me through 29 years of hard shit. It’s strong, beautiful and healthy.
1. Healthy doesn’t mean skinny… but skinny doesn’t mean not healthy. (double negative?)
The amount of times that I have compared my body to those on TV or on social media is absolutely absurd. (I can only speak for females, but I’m sure guys have their fair share of body comparisons too.) Growing up, the media was full of the Olsen twins, Paris & Nicole, Lindsey Lohan, and other early 2000 legends. A thing that a lot of them had in common was that they were a size 0. They were the “ideal” size for what a girl should be… but in reality, they were fighting a much bigger battle that I didn’t understand - whether it be an eating disorder, mental health struggles, substance use or lack of nutrition due to stress.. Looking at them, I assumed that they were healthy because they were skinny but I was wrong.
The opposite of this is that women who are “skinny” can also be healthy. I know some people who eat what they want, work out a couple times a week, are mentally sound, and are technically “skinny.” Alright, I’m done writing this part because I’m getting annoyed with using the word “skinny.” I mean what does that even mean?! I think you guys can get the point I’m trying to make. Healthy is not based upon the size that you are.
2. Exercise because it feels good.
After I was in my accident in 2013, my body wasn’t the same. I realized that I had to move so that I wouldn’t be stiff or be in pain. Eventually, my love affair with exercising finally took off. I joined gyms, got a trainer, and I even found myself working for a group fitness studio. I started to realize that when I wouldn’t work out for a couple of days, my body would start to hurt, I would feel tight, and my mood would start to suffer. I make a point to do my best with movement every single day. Some days, my best is walking 10,000 steps. Some days, my best is doing a 45 min peloton class and strength workouts. Some days, my best is a deep stretch yoga class. I find that the days that I don’t incorporate something physical - my body lets me know it’s disappointed.
3. Eat what fuels your body.
I tried Whole30. I tried Keto. I tried limiting it to 1000 calories a day. I tried not eating carbs after breakfast. End result: I turned into a real bitch. Are these things good for some people? Absolutely. Are they good for me? No. I realized that for me, myself, & I… I need the food that my body is craving. I carry multiple kinds of snacks with me just in case my body is craving something specific. Sometimes I realize that I need more vegetables, sometimes protein, sometimes fruit. I need to be able to have flexibility in my diet and not feel like I can only have certain things. Do I realize that dairy isn’t good for me? Yes. Do I eat ice cream anyways? Yes. It’s a give & take battle, all about balance. I’m just doing the best that I can without beating myself up over my choices.
4. Scars are beautiful.
Hence the photo that was chosen for this post. Looking in a mirror, showing off something that has helped define who I am. Scars tell stories. All of our marks (even stretch marks) show the amount of physical & mental growth that we have been through. I shouldn’t look at my scar and feel some type of way about it. I should look at it & think, “man, I’m a badass.” During my women empowerment shoot, I made sure to get photos that showed off one of the biggest parts of my story, my scar from the accident. I mean the discolored, uneven, soft line... freaking looks sexy. How amazing is that? Who knew that something that caused me shame could cause me to feel beautiful? Everytime that I see someone with scars, a couple of things run through my mind: a) wow that’s awesome, b) what’s their story?, c) props for letting it show, keep on keeping on ya strong human.
5. The female body is a powerful thing.
This statement goes hand in hand with scars/stretch marks being an amazing part of the female body. Now that more and more people that I know are having children, I am absolutely amazed by what we can do. Our bodies hold so much. Stress, trauma, emotions, hormones, a full on reproductive system, BABIES, and more. Women who have carried a child are absolute heroes. My friend and I were talking about our period cramps the other day & how much pain those can cause - but I mean a 6lb fetus kicking around, squishing things.. that has to be on a whole different level. I am in awe of all of those mothers out there who have carried a child - I’m also in awe of all of those mothers out there in general. To be a mother means being able to work on limited hours of sleep, balancing a million things at once, and still trying to stay mentally sane. Women are magical. We need to stop & remember that. Instead of talking about how much weight we need to lose, or apologizing for how we look - we should be praising each other on things that we are able to accomplish each and every day.
The moment that someone says, “you look like you’ve lost some weight- you look great girl”- is the moment that we are validating that smaller is better. I know that I am guilty of this and I am actively working on stopping these types of comments. I truly believe that seeing someone feeling good about themselves is what makes someone look beautiful.
Some things to help start building self confidence:
Dance alone. Dance with friends. Dance without any care in the world.
A woman empowerment photoshoot (I promise, it will do WONDERS for your self-esteem)
Yoga, it is something physical that helps you learn about your body and it’s abilities
Allowing yourself enough time in the morning to do something that makes you feel good before going to work
Saying positive things to yourself out loud. “You are beautiful.” “You are amazing.” “You are sexy.” “You are powerful.” “You’re a badass.”
Some songs to dance around in your underwear to:
Good As Hell- Lizzo
Stronger- Britney Spears
Born This Way- Lady Gaga
Scars To Your Beautiful- Alessia Cara
Confident- Demi Lovato
xx,
Linsey
