What I Learned During Yoga Teacher Training

1. I learned that I can get through anything.

            I started my yoga teacher training right after I got a new job working at a non-profit that I was very excited to be a part of. I left a toxic work environment and was excited to start at a new organization that had similar values and morals as my own. Over my time working for this company and doing my teacher training, there was a restructure that occurred and shook things up. Working for a non-profit was a new concept for me, and I was very naive in how these organizations were run. I stuck it out for as long as I could so that I could learn and grow within my career, and thankfully I had yoga teacher training on the weekends to run away to. 

            The second weekend that we got together for training, I walked into the room and kept to myself. I tried to hold back my tears as much as I could because I felt like I had been crying for two weeks straight. We went around the room to do a check in, and I instantly broke down. "My father passed away." We had a big group hug and I remember that I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be. After our check in, we moved. I remember crying throughout the entire practice but also feeling relieved. During savasana, my amazing teacher gave me the best assist that I have ever received. I remember when she touched my shoulder, I felt a wave of calm rush through me. I was surrounded by women who had only met me once and I just shared a major life event with them. I normally would have been embarrassed and used any excuse not to come back the next week, but with that touch I felt a shift within me. I felt that I was safe. 

2. I learned that there is a way to truly feel emotions.

            Have you ever been doing a physical activity and all of a sudden you realize that it isn't sweat coming out of your eyes? It's tears. Learning how to sit with my thoughts and move through my fears helped me to truly start cleansing my body of emotions that have been building up inside of me for years. As a person diagnosed with PTSD, my body is prone to hold on to pain and suffering. Through the journey of my yoga teacher training, I learned that I don't have to keep stuffing my feelings away but that it's ok to leave them out on the mat. The moment that I started to move through my insecurities and fears was the moment that I finally started to release all of the bullshit that I've been holding on to. The best way for me to handle my emotions is to go through them and IT'S OK. Once I do that, I am able to let go & after I learned that my life changed. In the last 10 months, I have felt more alive than I ever have in my 28 years. I feel lighter, more confident, less anxious and I feel like I can be a positive influence for others. 

3. I learned that doing yoga ... isn't just doing yoga. 

            What the hell does that mean, Linsey? That means that the physical practice of yoga is only 1 of the 8 limbs of yoga. Yoga is so much more than headstands and badass arm balances. Yoga is being able to be one with yourself. Breathing. Self-study and self-realization. Meditation. Having a clear mind. Spreading my light and my love with those around me. Knowing how to speak clearly and effectively. Taking care of myself, because if I don't do that then I can't take care of anyone else. "Sometimes doing yoga is actually not doing the yoga." My teacher told me that and it has stuck with me. Sometimes we need to take a break from certain aspects in our life so that we can recharge and truly do what is best for ourselves. 

4. I learned that I'm worth it.

            Everyone says that yoga teacher training will shake your world up and might even blow it up. Well, I had my fair share of life events that happened to be during my teacher training. Not only did I have a job change, but I lost my father. I was learning how to deal with my current trauma, while also digging up my old trauma. I constantly felt confused, on edge, and out of touch with myself. I told my boyfriend that I needed a break to relearn who I was. Oh man, was that hard. I felt like when we were on this break that I was going to lose the best guy that has ever been a part of my life... but I knew that I needed to do it. I had to become the best version of myself that I could be. I did a lot of workout classes, went to dinners with friends at new places, read a lot of books and did a lot of self-reflection. We got back together. When we got back together, I knew who I was or at least who I was becoming, I knew what I wanted, I knew what I deserved and I was sure as hell that I wanted him. I am worth being loved by myself. I am worth being loved by another. I am worth having the life that I want. 

I’m sure that I could come up with even more to add to this list, but I don’t want to give away too much about what this experience brought me. If you have ever thought about attending a yoga teacher training, DO IT. These trainings are so much more than getting into poses or nailing a transition - they help you become the best version of you from the inside out.

xx,

Linsey